Tuesday, 7 October 2008

marmite fridge

The other day I was having some toast with marmite. I was on the way
back to put it in the cupboard when my wife happen to say the word
,"Fridge", as part of our conversation.

I walked straight past the cupboard and went to stick it into the
fridge. As I started to open the fridge I realised I was putting it in
the the wrong place.

I realised what my wife had said and the effect it had on me.

I guess it worked as a pattern interrupt as it stopped my train of
thought and put in its place the message fridge which directed my
towards the fridge.

Is this how weird things end up in your fridge and in the wrong places
in your house because through a separate train of thought or a
conversation running at the same time mis directs you to the wrong
place?

Monday, 6 October 2008

Genuine Understanding only comes from Experience

Received a great picture message this morning of my daughter building
a couple of lego towers.
Why is that great you are probably thinking? and what does it have to
do with NLP.

last weekend she wasn't really doing much with the lego, but this
weekend I spent a lot of time with her building lego towers. Mostly me
building and her adding in the odd piece. It seems to have made an
impression as today she is building her own lego towers without any
help. Why NLP? Well made me think of the NLP presupposition.

"Genuine Understanding only comes from Experience or learning is in the act"
You can read all you like, and talk to as many other people as you
like, and you can watch other people doing something on video, DVD or
film - but you don't really understand something until you personally
have done it."

This was definitely the case. The learning came from the experience of
building the towers with me.

Wednesday, 10 September 2008

more feedback

So Andy Murray learnt from his game against Nadel at Beat him in the
US Open. Definitely a case of taking it as feedback not failure.
Although he lost to Federer in the final he now has experience of a
Grand Slam final.

He said in his interviews that although upset to lose you only get
better my playing better players, losing to Nadal and federer has
shown him the weakness in his own game that he will need to eradicate
if he is to become the best in the world.

His behaviour shows he lives some of the NLP presuppositions

"There is no such thing as failure, only feedback"

"Genuine understand only comes from experience"

Whether this is intentionally or he just has a positive mindset I don't know.

On a personal note at work some of my predications on the state of the
department seem to be coming true. I said that the new structure was
set up for failure, (not feedback ha ha). They under estimated the
work the some of the managers did and by changing our job are starting
to realise that something is now missing. The management level above
now get all the work and hassle we use to deal with and it is clear
they can't cope.

They are trying to pass some of the work back to us again, but they
are getting a strong push back. They changed our jobs they can't have
it both ways. So now they are trying to get some of the team members
to pick it up instead and again are getting strong push back. People
are wise to this style of management now, the have their cake and eat
it approach. They want the work done but won't pay you for it or
recognise you for it. At the end of the day I have contract with the
company I work for, just as they have a contract with their suppliers,
vendors and customers. I do what I do as a business decision, this is
the same terminology they us when making excuses for redundancies or
small pay rises. It seems however they don't like their own excuses
bounced back at them when giving reasons not to work outside your
contract.

Tuesday, 9 September 2008

Getting back into it

Got back into some NLP yesterday. In a managers meeting always a good
place to spot and use NLP.

For starters my director always sits in these meetings with his head
in his hands. He always seems totally bored by the meetings. Around
there are a number of people try to suck up always giving everything a
positive spin and try to put them selves out or getting others to do
the work for the him.

I had a little discussion with them yesterday and used a few Sleight
of Mouth patterns. Realised I could have used more after the meeting
but to be honest I was only doing it to wind them up a bit and I got
the desired effect very quickly. I think telling one of the managers
"we should be working smarter not harder", was a treat, he sat in
silence for quite a few minutes before coming out with a whole load of
drivel that I couldn't be bothered to counter, as I don't really care
about the job anyway.

I think I need to finish up the book I am on, I have written a goal to
complete by October and the final bit will only take a week to
complete. After that I will re-read the Sleight of Mouth book again
and work out some exercises.

Wednesday, 3 September 2008

plans for the future

Signed up to a number of NLP rss feeds the other day. Something to
read on a daily basis to keep my interest going. Got through nearly
all podcasts I can find on NLP just waiting for the good ones now to
post new episodes.

Going to try and practice NLP every day at the moment and record the
results, not reading up on anything new at the moment want to
concentrate on what I have already learnt and give my self a break
from reading at the moment. Very nearly finished the NLPbook will only
take a few more few to complete so will be well done before the initial
completion date I set myself and the subsequent revised date as well.

I have a couple of book s that will assist in my practicing of NLP
once I get stuck back in again.

This blog was always suppose to be about strategy, politics and NLP. I
have concentrated on the NLP part and have written a goal to write
100 blog entries on NLP before I moved on. I am on 34 blog entries
since setting the goal, so only a third of the way at the moment.

Tuesday, 2 September 2008

Ploughing along

Not sure what to blog about today. Been off ill on Thursday to Sunday,
with my outstanding issues at work I have tired to keep myself
detached from the rest of the team. I don't want to get to involved in
case I leave. So not really using my NLP to its fullest at the moment,
just a little bit of mirroring etc in meetings and conversations as
per normal. Still reading through the book and got to an interesting
section on giving and receiving feedback. I wish I had read this
properly before, never mind I will take that as feedback not failure,
ha ha.

Its a skill I need to develop for my future career, but the again the
opportunities aren't really apparent at the moment. I think I will
write up and keep with my other notes so I can use it when necessary.

I think I am getting somewhere with my case at work, I have found more
evidence to support my point of view. Plus in a meeting the other day
when I discussed with my new manager about this role there seemed to
be a softening of his belief in that the job was significantly
different. He had only just met with the person running the
investigation a few hours before so I wonder if this shift was down to
that meeting.

Any how I have heard he has met a number of the people involved so
should hear in the next week or two.

I will use the in between time to practice NLP where I can or observe it in use.

Wednesday, 27 August 2008

Rapport

Been reading up on creating rapport. I thought I have already done
this as part of the other chapters around matching body language,
filters and states. There is however a whole chapter dedicated to it
in the book. Basically it does cover some I what I already though I
had done in matching filters, body language and states. It does take
it a step forward by try to match values as overall messages as well.
I guess this is trying to understand their logical levels of change
and build your communication to match this levels also as to build
rapport.

It covers the match, pace and then lead system to build rapport with
people. You match their communication, you then pace with it and
eventually try to lead the communication and if you are in rapport
they will follow. I must admit I have read about this before and
understand the meaning of but never knowingly been able to do it. This
is something I will work on as building rapport brings together all
the elements previously discussed , filters, states, body language,
logical levels of changes and the NLP presupposition will also help
think in the right way.

I think my exercises for this week will be to note down and try this
out everyday.

The next part of the book is well formed outcomes, then coaching with
NLP and feedback with NLP.
All of which I am looking forward to learning more about. I do think
that the rapport part of NLP is the basic building block for the rest
of these subjects so might be worth spending some time on.