Tuesday, 7 October 2008

marmite fridge

The other day I was having some toast with marmite. I was on the way
back to put it in the cupboard when my wife happen to say the word
,"Fridge", as part of our conversation.

I walked straight past the cupboard and went to stick it into the
fridge. As I started to open the fridge I realised I was putting it in
the the wrong place.

I realised what my wife had said and the effect it had on me.

I guess it worked as a pattern interrupt as it stopped my train of
thought and put in its place the message fridge which directed my
towards the fridge.

Is this how weird things end up in your fridge and in the wrong places
in your house because through a separate train of thought or a
conversation running at the same time mis directs you to the wrong

Monday, 6 October 2008

Genuine Understanding only comes from Experience

Received a great picture message this morning of my daughter building
a couple of lego towers.
Why is that great you are probably thinking? and what does it have to
do with NLP.

last weekend she wasn't really doing much with the lego, but this
weekend I spent a lot of time with her building lego towers. Mostly me
building and her adding in the odd piece. It seems to have made an
impression as today she is building her own lego towers without any
help. Why NLP? Well made me think of the NLP presupposition.

"Genuine Understanding only comes from Experience or learning is in the act"
You can read all you like, and talk to as many other people as you
like, and you can watch other people doing something on video, DVD or
film - but you don't really understand something until you personally
have done it."

This was definitely the case. The learning came from the experience of
building the towers with me.

Wednesday, 10 September 2008

more feedback

So Andy Murray learnt from his game against Nadel at Beat him in the
US Open. Definitely a case of taking it as feedback not failure.
Although he lost to Federer in the final he now has experience of a
Grand Slam final.

He said in his interviews that although upset to lose you only get
better my playing better players, losing to Nadal and federer has
shown him the weakness in his own game that he will need to eradicate
if he is to become the best in the world.

His behaviour shows he lives some of the NLP presuppositions

"There is no such thing as failure, only feedback"

"Genuine understand only comes from experience"

Whether this is intentionally or he just has a positive mindset I don't know.

On a personal note at work some of my predications on the state of the
department seem to be coming true. I said that the new structure was
set up for failure, (not feedback ha ha). They under estimated the
work the some of the managers did and by changing our job are starting
to realise that something is now missing. The management level above
now get all the work and hassle we use to deal with and it is clear
they can't cope.

They are trying to pass some of the work back to us again, but they
are getting a strong push back. They changed our jobs they can't have
it both ways. So now they are trying to get some of the team members
to pick it up instead and again are getting strong push back. People
are wise to this style of management now, the have their cake and eat
it approach. They want the work done but won't pay you for it or
recognise you for it. At the end of the day I have contract with the
company I work for, just as they have a contract with their suppliers,
vendors and customers. I do what I do as a business decision, this is
the same terminology they us when making excuses for redundancies or
small pay rises. It seems however they don't like their own excuses
bounced back at them when giving reasons not to work outside your

Tuesday, 9 September 2008

Getting back into it

Got back into some NLP yesterday. In a managers meeting always a good
place to spot and use NLP.

For starters my director always sits in these meetings with his head
in his hands. He always seems totally bored by the meetings. Around
there are a number of people try to suck up always giving everything a
positive spin and try to put them selves out or getting others to do
the work for the him.

I had a little discussion with them yesterday and used a few Sleight
of Mouth patterns. Realised I could have used more after the meeting
but to be honest I was only doing it to wind them up a bit and I got
the desired effect very quickly. I think telling one of the managers
"we should be working smarter not harder", was a treat, he sat in
silence for quite a few minutes before coming out with a whole load of
drivel that I couldn't be bothered to counter, as I don't really care
about the job anyway.

I think I need to finish up the book I am on, I have written a goal to
complete by October and the final bit will only take a week to
complete. After that I will re-read the Sleight of Mouth book again
and work out some exercises.

Wednesday, 3 September 2008

plans for the future

Signed up to a number of NLP rss feeds the other day. Something to
read on a daily basis to keep my interest going. Got through nearly
all podcasts I can find on NLP just waiting for the good ones now to
post new episodes.

Going to try and practice NLP every day at the moment and record the
results, not reading up on anything new at the moment want to
concentrate on what I have already learnt and give my self a break
from reading at the moment. Very nearly finished the NLPbook will only
take a few more few to complete so will be well done before the initial
completion date I set myself and the subsequent revised date as well.

I have a couple of book s that will assist in my practicing of NLP
once I get stuck back in again.

This blog was always suppose to be about strategy, politics and NLP. I
have concentrated on the NLP part and have written a goal to write
100 blog entries on NLP before I moved on. I am on 34 blog entries
since setting the goal, so only a third of the way at the moment.

Tuesday, 2 September 2008

Ploughing along

Not sure what to blog about today. Been off ill on Thursday to Sunday,
with my outstanding issues at work I have tired to keep myself
detached from the rest of the team. I don't want to get to involved in
case I leave. So not really using my NLP to its fullest at the moment,
just a little bit of mirroring etc in meetings and conversations as
per normal. Still reading through the book and got to an interesting
section on giving and receiving feedback. I wish I had read this
properly before, never mind I will take that as feedback not failure,
ha ha.

Its a skill I need to develop for my future career, but the again the
opportunities aren't really apparent at the moment. I think I will
write up and keep with my other notes so I can use it when necessary.

I think I am getting somewhere with my case at work, I have found more
evidence to support my point of view. Plus in a meeting the other day
when I discussed with my new manager about this role there seemed to
be a softening of his belief in that the job was significantly
different. He had only just met with the person running the
investigation a few hours before so I wonder if this shift was down to
that meeting.

Any how I have heard he has met a number of the people involved so
should hear in the next week or two.

I will use the in between time to practice NLP where I can or observe it in use.

Wednesday, 27 August 2008


Been reading up on creating rapport. I thought I have already done
this as part of the other chapters around matching body language,
filters and states. There is however a whole chapter dedicated to it
in the book. Basically it does cover some I what I already though I
had done in matching filters, body language and states. It does take
it a step forward by try to match values as overall messages as well.
I guess this is trying to understand their logical levels of change
and build your communication to match this levels also as to build

It covers the match, pace and then lead system to build rapport with
people. You match their communication, you then pace with it and
eventually try to lead the communication and if you are in rapport
they will follow. I must admit I have read about this before and
understand the meaning of but never knowingly been able to do it. This
is something I will work on as building rapport brings together all
the elements previously discussed , filters, states, body language,
logical levels of changes and the NLP presupposition will also help
think in the right way.

I think my exercises for this week will be to note down and try this
out everyday.

The next part of the book is well formed outcomes, then coaching with
NLP and feedback with NLP.
All of which I am looking forward to learning more about. I do think
that the rapport part of NLP is the basic building block for the rest
of these subjects so might be worth spending some time on.

Tuesday, 26 August 2008

Feedback not failure

After watching the Olympics I have heard the NLP statement of
excellence 'there is only feedback not failure' in use several times
or with this meaning.

A number of the athletics who had missed out in 2004 said they gained
experience and drive to win this time around. Likewise many of those
who missed out his time have said they will use it as a learning
experience to ensure the win next time around.

Also read in the Metro a few weeks a go Peter Jones saying this was
his favorite quote.

A number of athletes recorded personal bests and still felt they had
they should have won or felt there is more to come. I hope that it
will still inspire them to continue in their sport and not get dis
heartened by not winning this time, recognize they have done well and
look to continuously improve for next time around.

I like to think of myself as someone how is very determined to reach
their goals, but from watching the Olympics I realise I have a lot to
learn. I do give up I think the tasks is beyond me and I try and find
an excuse as to why I couldn't complete it or win. I use to do Thai
Boxing and got very dis heartened when I was out sparred and felt I
could never win. I realise the fear of failure use to get to me. After
watching the "the contender Asia" and looking into the history of the
fighters you could see that they have all lost at some stage in their
careers, however the learn and come back for more.

I need to do this, I need to make sure I don't beat myself up over
failure or loss but learn from it instead. I need to use the feedback
to drive myself forward and not dwell on my past mistakes.

This easy to say. We shall see.

Friday, 22 August 2008

missing presuppositions

I just noticed some missing presuppositions

• Change makes Change
Commentary: It is a common saying that "the only person you can
really change is yourself"

• There is no such thing as failure, only feedback
Commentary: When something doesn't go as we planned we tend to see
that as failure. Depending on the seriousness of the situation we
might then get angry, irritated, sad, depressed, worried, guilty or
None of which serves any useful purpose.

• A map is not the territory it depicts; words are not the things they
describe; symbols are not the things they represent
Commentary: This may well be the single most important
pre-supposition in the whole of NLP (originally developed by Alfred
Korzybski, the founder of General Semantics).
In very simple terms it means that we are always slightly separated
from 'reality'. We draw maps, but the map is not actually the place
it depicts and we need to be responsive to what is actually happening
around us rather than complaining that things aren't as they "ought to

• Every behaviour is appropriate in some context
Commentary: Another way of putting this is: if we adopt a certain
behaviour it's because once upon a time it worked. The trouble is
that we often go on sing a certain behaviour even though it is
manifestly no longer appropriate.

• You cannot not communicate
Commentary: People often imagine that they can avoid personal
responsibility by simply saying nothing. This pre-supposition points
out that we are constantly communicating, by what we do say, by what
we don't say, and by a host of non-verbal signals.
On this basis it may be obvious that there is more to be gained by
accepting responsibility for one's actions, than by trying to stay

I think I will mark out 5 of these to work on else I will disappear
under the weight of them all.

NLP presuppositions

More NLP yesterday. Speaking to a guy over lunch and noticed he kept
looking up to his right as he was trying visual how a something
looked. It was very obvious an I am glad I picked it up.

Been reading up on more NLP especially the model of excellence and the
NLP presuppositions that they believe creates excellence.
NLPers suggest you try on these presupposition even if you don't
believe them initially as you will find they grow on you and you will
eventually believe them to be true. I am think its a another thing to
add to my morning read on my Morning schedule. It would take my up to
2 A4 sheets a paper a morning.
Just about possible without taking up too much time and lose of focus.

NLP Presupposition 1.
1. People respond to their perception of reality, not to reality itself.
Our experience gives us a map of the world from which we operate. It
is not the actual territory it covers. Some maps work well in
situations where others don't. NLP is the art of changing your maps,
so we have greater freedom.

NLP Presupposition 2.
2. Having a choice is better than not having a choice.
The more choices you have, the freer you are and the more influence
you have. NLP seeks to add choice at every opportunity

NLP Presupposition 3.
3. People always make the best choice they can at the time given their
map of the world.
Give them a better choice and they will take it. Even better give them
a superior map with more choices in it.

NLP Presupposition 4.
4. People work perfectly.
No one is broken. We are all getting the results of our map of
beliefs. Change what is flowing through the system of intelligence we
each are and we'll get new results.

NLP Presupposition 5.
5. All actions have a purpose.
Our actions are not random; we are always trying to achieve something,
although we may not be aware of what that is.

NLP Presupposition 6.
6. Every behaviour has a positive intention.
All our actions have at least one purpose - to achieve something that
we value and benefits us. A person is not their behaviour. When a
person has a better choice of behaviour that also achieves their
positive intention, they will take it. NLP uses this intention to

NLP Presupposition 7.
7. The unconscious mind balances the conscious; it is not malicious.
The unconscious is everything that is not in consciousness at the
present moment. It contains all the resources we need to live in

NLP Presupposition 8.
8. The meaning of your communication is also the response you get.
There are no failures, only responses and feedback. If you are not
getting the result you want, change what you are doing. Have the
ability to respond to the communication.

NLP Presupposition 9.
9. We already have all the resources we need, or we can create them.
There are no unresourceful people, only unresourceful states of mind.

NLP Presupposition 10.
10. Mind and body are different expressions of the same one system.
Mind and body interact and mutually influence each other. When we
think differently, our bodies change. When we act differently we
change our thoughts and feelings.

NLP Presupposition 11.
11. We process all information through our senses.
Developing your senses so they become more acute gives you better
information and helps you think more clearly.

NLP Presupposition 12.
12. Modeling successful performance leads to excellence.
If one person can do something it is possible to model it and teach it
to others.

NLP Presupposition 13.
13. If you want to understand - Act
The learning is in the doing.

Want to talk more about Strategy in the terms 'Art of War' not what
NLP refers to as strategy.

Going to make some notes and write down my learning experiences for
future blogs whilst it is still fresh in my mind.

Thursday, 21 August 2008

Putting it altogether

Had a hearing around my mapping the other day. It was very interesting
from an NLP point.

Firstly I was able to stay calm through out the entire meeting. I
never got upset, I always allowed people to get their point across, I
never interrupted,in total I behaved very professionally. I think this
will help my case massively as it shows me as a rationale and sensibly
person. I didn't allow myself to drawn on emotionally response or
emotionally reasoning why things had occurred. I didn't point ht
finger or make it personal. I think I was able to maintain this good
sate through some of the previous SWISH exercise I had done and the
understanding of physiology and state. I leaned back every time I felt
I was getting to associated, this help be disconnect from the
situation and allowed my to think clearly and response concisely and
intelligently. I think the leaning back has become a trigger/anchor
for me to relax and stay calm, as I have used this recently in the
past to help me stay cool , I think it has become anchor.

I also decide to mental relive this situation and anchor it to squeeze
of my knee. The hope is I can trigger it in the future if required
when in an intense situation.

When responding with a clear mind I was able to pick up the filters
being used by one of the interviewers. He used the words 'hear my out'
and 'let me say my piece', I always did and picked up on the fact he
used these specific auditory filters. I respond in my calm state,' I
think your voiced that point very well I agree with parts of it'.

I also felt I matched the body language as much as possible and tried
to keep eye contact with both my interviewers. I always find it easy
to match body language, it seems to one of the things that comes
naturally to me or I have been doing it so long its becomes an
unconscious reaction.

I was also able to apply a few SoM sleight of mouth patterns when
talking to them and putting forward my point.

Analogy pattern to describe a similar situation that would also be
unacceptable, that was outside the context of work.

Counter example of how I was wrongly mapped in comparison to other
people. This also connects into an 'Art of War' strategy as I have
given them an easy way out by not making about everyone ion the
mappings just myself.

Chunk down into specially why it was a problem and showed the
consequence of the belief in terms of my career.

I also suggested possible intentions behind the actions of the
mappings by saying 'I don't why it happened, I have no substantial
proof that it was intentional or purposefully done to remove me and
bring in their friend, or whether it was a mis understanding, or was
due to laziness or clumsiness.' This is using the intention SoM I have
drawn attention to a belief by saying I don't know if it was any of
these things, but it has clearly placed the possibility in their minds
it could have been done with to fulfil their own purpose.

I also found a few bits of email evidence that supports my belief of
Intention. Plus it is pre-emptive counter example strike if they deny
knowledge of career history.

I should find out in 3-4 weeks time.

Tuesday, 19 August 2008

Logical levels of change walk through

Been reviewing logical levels of change from my NLP book and some
information retrieved off the internet. The book suggest working
through the levels of change for yourself in order to understand it
better and then be able to apply to other people.

So I did this yesterday, I stepped through each level working out what
it meant to me it terms of my working career. I started at Environment
and worked my way up to Purpose and back down again.

It was a very useful exercise. I discovered I did a number of things
that were at odds with my purpose, my behaviours didn't always match
up and the environment I worked in or create weren't 100% aligned.

So I noted the areas that were out of alignment and have an action
plan to resolve in order to align my logical levels. This should bring
about a more consistent message to those around me and greater sense
of purpose and well being. We shall see. I have added to my morning
schedule the list of things I need to change so I am reminded every
morning I how I need to align.

Below is the logical levels of change I worked through.

Questions corresponding to logical levels

Who else? For whom? This can be viewed as your connection to a larger system.

Who? Who are you as an individual or company? What role do you play
to achieve your purpose? How do you think of yourself as a
person/organization – i.e. I am a successful person.

Beliefs and Values
Why? Why do you do something? What do you believe in or value? As an
individual, you may believe you can do anything you choose. Or you may
value honesty. From a company perspective, the company may value good
customer service and/or the well-being of staff.

How? How do you go about doing things? As an individual or company,
what are your capabilities, skills, strategies or action plans?

What? What are your behaviours?

Where? When? With Whom? Where, when and with whom do you display your
behaviours? What are the external influences on you?

Monday, 18 August 2008

Olympics and NLP

Been reading more about NLP. Onto programming and model part of the book.
Last couple of day have read about the following.

Modelling of excellence.
Logical levels of change

Modelling of excellence talks about the modelling of successful
business people, leaders or sports people. The part about sports
people seems particular appropriate at the moment with the Olympics
going on. Seen so many stories of how people have trained with the
Olympics coming up, the really successful ones seem to eat, sleep,
drink, train their sport 24/7. It appears that there is nothing else
in their lives apart from their sport. Everything they do every day is
dedicated to that sport. Many stories of the world champions losing at
the Olympics. Those that didn't win at the World Championships find
the extra motivation to then win at the Olympics( their is no failure
only feedback. Or there is no failure only learning opportunities).
Stories of people literally hiding away to concentrate on the training
and preparation for the Olympics.

Anchoring is all about finding triggers to invoke good resourceful
states and realising what triggers we have that create unresourceful
states. The idea being we can create resourceful states by firing off
a physical trigger I.e. touching your ear lobe. Resourceful states is
a positive state of mind for example happy, confident, independent,
calm. Unresourceful states are the opposite for example angry,
annoyed, depressed etc. Anchoring teaches you to trigger these
resourceful states and stop the unresourecful states. Part of the
reasoning in the book is that we work better in a resourceful state,
obviously! Also that if we want to lead and influence others then we
must set the right example and be able to spot resourceful or
unresoucreful states in others. If we can recognise these states in
our selves we can then spot it in others and help them find the the
right resourceful state.

This part of the book is all about practising on yourself in order to
create the same effect on others. Can you tell others to give up
smoking if you smoke!
Can you lead others if you don't show the right motivation, influence
and behaviours your self.?

I will write about the logical levels of change tomorrow

Friday, 15 August 2008

Its friday

Yesterday saw a very clumsy email from someone who had linked two
pieces of information together, was a definite distortion complex

It also presupposed a point of information that showed them up. It
made it apparent they have not worked on the project and they should

Yesterday night was reading up on P of NLP, discussing modelling of
excellence. Just getting into and getting onto the strategies they
have in place from modelling success and excellence. I know the book
covers leadership and coach which are two areas I wish to cover and
have separate (non NLP)books on.

Discovered I tilt my head when listening to people. According to the
books its an auditory thing, however I would describe myself much more

Anyway, enough ramblings for today. I will be back next week

Thursday, 14 August 2008

New CV and covering letter with NLP

Re did my CV and covering letter using NLP techniques meta model
yesterday. I have upload it to the CV sites and I hope it will make a
big difference. I reviewed my old CVs and discovered that my CV from 2
years ago was better than my previous existing CV. I had removed all
the good flowing language patterns and replaced them with statements
of fact. I think this happened as I quickly updated my CV I just flung
in new skills and achievements with out thinking them through

In reviewing my old CV I was able to pick out the best bits, enhance
and create a new CV that flowed really well. I asked my wife to review
and she said, 'it was better than the previous one, it flowed better
and the information really leaped out at you'. I tried to create an
outcome to each skill or experience as in ' Management and development
of team of designers on multiple projects & skill sets to create
effective resource. This ensures the delivery of projects in company x
and ongoing availability of technical skills for succession planning.'
The outcome being continued delivery of projects and technical

After using it through a job application, I got an agency call me
within half an hour. They were particularly happy with my covering

Just thinking about my CV, it was all about meta model, I didn't
really think about apply filters to it at all.
I keep doing this, thinking about either filters or meta model, find
it hard to apply both at once.

On my CV though I don't think it is a big problem as the nature of the
CV is intentionally positive, towards, proactive, mixed between
dissociated/associated, matching and internal/externally referenced.
It tries to appeal across a number of filters in order to work for
numerous job applications.

If employing someone you wouldn't want a totally internally referenced
person, but you wouldn't want someone who only followed their own
standards. Same with associated and dissociated, a bit of passion goes
a long way to show you are motivated and can motivate others.

I may have another read……

Read.. Not much external reference, but then again why does there need
to be in this case. What value would an external reference have!!!

Towards in general with a few same away points in combination where
relevant. i.e saving costs.
Big or small chunk. Don't think either. You can't small chunk on a CV
as there isn't room. I think its just enough information to convey the

Associated or dissociated. Not full of emotion, this is CV and I
suppose it does come from my point of view so there is a feeling of
association in the fact I am selling myself. Seems very neutral to me
any opinions!!!

Wednesday, 13 August 2008


I have decided to try and re do my CV NLP style. Firstly I will go
over my old CV and look at what style and how much NLP is already in
there. Next I will write out the information I what in my new CV then
write it up in a NLP style and try to make these make these points on
the CV that will cause conversation topics in interviews. Hopefully
then I can prepare language patterns on content to discuss in the
interview that will allow me to sell myself to the maximum potential.

Once I have done the CV I will try and move on to changing the script
on the front of my SMS web site as well. See if it makes any
difference to the amount of uptakes I get compared to the number of

A few little things I noticed yesterday on NLP. I went over some old
emails and picked up the meta/Milton model usage in them, that was
very interesting to see the different styles in use by myself , my
peers and bosses.

Once I have done with the language patterns time to move on to the
programming part of NLP, working out strategies for success and
modelling successful work.

Tuesday, 12 August 2008

Good vs Bad emails

Looking at filters and Meta/Milton model went through a example of a
bad email yesterday to see how it compared to a good email.

It was quite obvious why one worked and one failed.

BAD email

Detail small chunk very precise leaving no room to argue

Associated uses 'I' or refers to 'we' as in the team only.

Presuppose the my team getting it right and the receivers of the email
getting it wrong. Presuppose they are missing things and I have the
answers. Very feelings orientated.

Very Internally referenced. As 'I' or 'my concerns'

Uses lots of feelings words 'my concerns' 'thrown away'

Away From, very negative in total always about avoiding problems. No
goal direction.


Disassociated language non emotional refers to a group of people or
wider company

Presupposition of a number of things to make them true. They are
positive things and are non confrontational.
i.e. is in agreement 'we'
We have lots of experience
We have researched etc

Towards Agrees with the work they are doing and works with them to defined goal
Towards language to achieve a joint goal.

Big chunk as doesn't require specific details.

Precision language when explaining our issues so no room to respond.
Small chunk detail to get point across when being precise to ensure
issue understood.

Linkages issues with reasons to change. Links issues to gain resolutions

Some away language when appropriate about discussing challenges, but
balanced with a towards goal to resolve.

External/Internal – mixed as tend to use presupposition, the opinion I
am putting forward is one of the whole of area not a personal one.


Good Bad
----------- -----------
Int/ext Very Internal
Visual/feelings Feelings language
Towards Away
disassociated associated
presuppose positives presuppose negatives
linkage no linkage (no over all
story just bullet points)
Big chunk/small chuck Small chunk only
generalise precise language no GDD.


BIGGER CHUNKS lead to deletions, generalisation and distortions.
SMALLER CHUNKS tend to remove these by being more precise.

BIG chunks leads to trance as the have more to read into it. They have
to make sense of it all as it will have generalisation, deletions and
distortions. Both have their place too much detail then small chunk
can be exhausting and seem like giving orders.

Monday, 11 August 2008

Example of a successful email

This week to concentrate on filters and meta/milton model of language.

Went through an email on Friday that a number of people had replied to
saying it was a good email and they totally agreed with it, and it put
the message across very well. So have gone through it trying to work
out which filters I had used, plus which parts of the Milton/meta
model were involved as well.

I thought if I could try and model it I could recreate the success.

I also have an email on which I received negative feedback saying it
was bad and got peoples backs up. Going to go through this as well and
try and find why it upsets people. Can I model my failings so as to
avoid them in the future.

My successfull email used the following filters and models:-

Disassociated language non emotional refers to a group of people or
wider company rather than how it affects me or my team.

Presupposition of a number of things to make them true.
We have lots of experience.
We have researched etc
We can help

Agrees with the work they are doing and works with them to a defined goal.
Towards language to achieve a joint goal creating a vision. Big chunk
as doesn't require specific details and gives that big picture vision.

Precision language when explaining our issues so no room to respond
and find flaws. Thus needs small chunk detail to get point across.

Linkage of issues with reasons to work towards the goals I have
represented. Links issues to our resolutions, puts forward outcome
thinking (outcome state, living in the solution) rather than problem
thinking (living in the issues)

Some away language when appropriate about discussing loss of revenue,
but with a towards goal to resolve.

Friday, 8 August 2008

Meta and Milton Models

Been reading up on language techniques over the last few days. Looked
at detail at the meta model used in NLP and the Milton Model used in
hypnosis. Made some notes and will try to find examples of it being
used day to day and try to use it day to day as well.

The meta model breaks down into 3 distinct areas


Each of these again breaks down into further categories. I shall run
through the categories and examples once I have had more experience
with them. In other words I shall blog the results.

In conjunction with this still looking into the filters people use
either in speech, text, or body language.

Still trying to break down each email every day to how filters are
used. I will now also try and look at how the meta and Milton model is
also used in these emails. I have 5 record examples of the uses of
filters I will go back over them to try and work out the meta model or
Milton model has been used. Then what would the question be if they
are used to get more precision. This would be a case of chunking down
to specifics also discussed as precision questioning.

Milton model is considered to be big chunks as it allows the
reader/listener to go inside and place on it their own meaning thus
inducing a small trance.

Wednesday, 6 August 2008

Hypnotic commands

Still haven't really picked up on the body language stuff yesterday. Again at my PC all day no real opportunities to put it to use.

Realised that this may be true of a number of learning points in the future, so I will try and run to learning points in the future. Plus if nothing else happening blog about other NLP experiences instead. Spent sometime yesterday trying to look up covert hypnosis. Some books on the market but the reviews are mixed. I realised I probably had all the necessary books already, I just need to bring them together in the future.

As quiet at work I did some work on Ericcsionain Hypnotic commands studying and trying them out in a few emails etc.

Also read some stuff about aligning yourself with people using the following statements.

  • Encourage their Dreams
  • Justify their failures
  • Allay their fears
  • Confirm their suspicions
  • Throw rocks at their enemy

If you can do these actions it will go a long way to win people over and be able to persuade and influence them in the future.

Tuesday, 5 August 2008

Logical levels of change

Tried to look at peoples body language yesterday put didn't get round to it as spent most of my time at my PC.
I have in the past noticed my teams body language. There was a visual and feelings guy in my old team and their body language, voice tone and eye clues were typical of the explanation given in the last blog.

Spent most of yesterday reading about logical levels of change in preparation of any HR meetings. HR people seem to have study this kind of thing and will try and use it against you. So I know have the fundamental understanding and can counter act any arguments in to get my beliefs to change. I figure if I keep my argument around my purpose and identity its going to be very hard for them to get me to change plus they my come to the conclusion my beliefs are to ingrained to be altered. This is all about my employer trying to get me to do another job that I don't want to do.

Also spent some kind with my old teams mates who are depressed about the new organisational structure. I encouraged the demotivation with a bit of Sith NLP. I like this Sith NLP stuff and will have to develop further once I have got the normal NLP stuff under belt,

Monday, 4 August 2008

Body language

This week the NLP training and study is around body language.
The body language part follows on from the filters last week. The idea being to pick up the filters using body language. So notice if towards/away, internal/external, mis/match, options/procedure, as

assoicated/dissacoiated, visual/ auditory/ feelings and big chunk/small chunk.

Do you copy other body language or mismatch it

Do you require others approval in a meeting. Look to other when talking for their approval
For are you happy to see your own piece without the requirement for approval

The detail of the topic you go into. Plus the gesturing of the body language.
Are the gestures wide and big.
Or small and precise

Options - a array being spread out in front of the speaker
Procedure - gesture a chopping action

Speak in a high tone
Breathe high in the chest-rapid, shallow breathing
Gesture high in the air, often trying to depict the images they can see internally
Often show tension in their body.

Speak in a rhythmic way, almost tunefully
Talk Mid tone
Breather mid chest
Gesture lower than speaking in a visual way
Often have their head tiled to one side as if to accentuate the amount they take in through their ears
Frequently touch their ears and mouth and often have their hand against their face as if on the telephone

Speak in a resonant way, slowly with frequent silences
Breath low in the chest-deep, slow breaths as if sighing
Gesture down to their right
Have a laid back body posture, relaxed and free moving

Eyes as you do them mirror as you see them
right up construct visual rembered
left up remembering or straight defocused visual construct
straight defocused visual depending on how the body weight is distributed
right to ears construct audio
left to ears remembering audio
left down auditory digital, inner dialog
right down external feelings and emotions

Need to pick this up in others this week

Friday, 1 August 2008

Discovery on filters

Checked through some more emails yesterday to look at peoples filters.
I was very interesting exercise. I then decided to do some of my own
in an objective point of view. I was surprised to discovered that I
had slightly different filters than I realised.

It was very away, feelings, internal, mismatch, mid chunk and associated.

I was excepting it to be towards, internal, mismatch, big chunk and dissociated.

However, I do wonder if the filters I used are influenced by the
subject you are discussing. The topic was about being pushed into a
job I didn't want to do. Therefore it was all about why I shouldn't be
in that job , why I didn't fit it. So does the topic and point of view
influence your filters.

I am going to read other emails of mine from different topics and see
if there is a pattern.

Thursday, 31 July 2008

Seeing filters in emails

Reading through a few emails yesterday picking out the various
filters. I intend to make copy of 1 a day as an example for the
future. Will try to pick ones where I reply matching their filters and
make a note of the reaction it gets.

I have done a similar exercise a year or two back on reading between
the lines of the content of an email. This was based on a different
system about language patterns. I think there are some similarities
with NLP I would like to review and try in end to bring it all
together as one piece of work.

Also studied a book called "words that change minds", this used a
system called "language and Behaviour Profile", which is an extension
of the NLP filters and was recommended in one of the NLP books as the
next level up from NLP on filters. Will try and review and bring this
into NLP as well.

Wednesday, 30 July 2008

Thinking patterns reading emails

Realised I wasn't looking at the thinking patterns properly. I was to
obsessed with their VAK and not looking at the towards/away, mis/match
etc. I am going to run through a few emails today to try and pick up
these filters properly. I re-read some of the chapters last night and
realised that VAK is useful, but the majority of people are visual so
always a good bet to start with. Secondly the body language and tone
of voice is also a good indicator of their VAK as well as the language
they use.

So the plan is to go through at least one email a day to pick up the
filters. I intend to do this now until I pick it up naturally on every
email. Then I hope it will easily transit into verbal communications
as well. I make a goal in my diary to make sure I pick it up.

Tuesday, 29 July 2008

mirco expressions

Didn't pick up much on the filters front yesterday.
However, I did pick up a lot on the body language front. I was
introducing myself to the new team I will be working with yesterday
and could see by some of their body language they were not that happy
with me from past experience.

I had lined up a points in my talk to try and overcome these previous
issues. I noticed when I mentioned this topic was going to be
discussed a couple of people looked at each other with raised
eyebrows. It was clear indication they had previous discussed this
between prior to the meeting. I said my piece and the body language of
these people changed they became more relaxed and smiled and seemed to
have appreciated what I had said.

I do think my new boss is a definite auditory person. Still trying to
pin point why I thin k that. I need more evidence. As I working with
new people this week it will a great chance to try and work their
different think styles out.

Monday, 28 July 2008


Need to work on the filters this week as only at work 2 days last week
and never really got a chance to inestigate it [porperly and review
others actions.

Off to start in my new unwanted role today. Going to test out my NLP
style against them and try and win around the people in the team. Play
it straight and watch and learn, see if I can spot any opportunties
against my senior managers whilst there and plot my revenge.

Noticed in some of my meetings last week that my director was using a
chopping moition left to right to discuss the process through our
departement. Shows he is procedure based and his timeline runs left to
right. Now how do I use that information to my advantage. My new
direct manage I have been able to pinn down yet. He used the words
resonate the other day and like to say lets talk a lot. I think he is
auditory in nature. I shall see if I can work it out this week.

Tuesday, 22 July 2008

More Filters

Some detail around my exercises this week

associated - experience of being in own body when remembering.
Connected to your feelings
dissociated - experience being out of body. Detached from your feelings

Towards - your ability to think about what you really want
Away - your ability to think about what you don't want

match - see in the ways thing are similar
mismatch -see which is the odd one out

big chunk – spaciousness, feel and style
small chunk – details

past/present/future - time reference people like to refer to

how we remember

activity – recall the activity
person – recall the people involved
object –associate it with an object
place – the place the activity occurred
time – the time it occurred

internal – how we reference our standards

visual speak in a high tone
breathe high in the chest-rapid, shallow breathing
gesture high in the air, often trying to depict the images they can
see internally
often show tension in their body

auditory speak in a rhythmic way, almost tunefully
talk mid tone
breathe mid chest
gesture lower than speaking in a visual way
often have their head titled to one side as if to accentuate the
amount they take in through their ears
frequently touch theirs ears and mouth and often have their hand
against their face as if on the telephone

feelings speak in a resonant way, slowly with frequent silences
breathe low in the chest-deep, slow breaths, as if sighing
gesture down and to their right
have a laid back body posture, relaxed and free moving

spatial filing cabinets how people gesture when remembering

procedure gesture a chopping type action
choice an array being spread out in front of the speaker

So the idea is to pick these filters up in myself or notice them in
other people.

From yesterday I was able to dissociate myself in situation. I was in
a meeting about my new unwanted job and as I felt myself get to
emotional about I lean back in my chair and was able to disconnect
from the situation enough to get my point across. Plus leaning back in
my chair and taking a relaxed position seemed to put them more on
edge. I have noticed in my meetings with this person their body
language is becoming more and more closed off and defensive. I even
saw a small twitch yesterday when I replied with a particular comment.
It was micro expression like recoiling from being hit.

Monday, 21 July 2008

Filters and think patterns

This week I am suppose to be studying filters and some more thinking patterns.

As part of the thinking patterns area I still need to look at time
lines and memory vs imagined.

In using the SWISH patterns last week I was able to use the memory of
events and the imagined reactions work in my favour. I have been very
calm all weekend about my job mappings and a little bit concerned I am
too calm. Hopefully it should keep me in good stead for the rest of
the week.

Filters are the way you see the world.
big chunk/small chunk
future think person
internally referenced.

I will view again tonight but this should give enough to work on today.

Friday, 18 July 2008

Sith NLP

I think I have fallen to the dark side, I always understood the Sith
and Dark Jedi more than the do gooders anyhow. Why?

I have been through a re-org at work and have been moved off to
another team. The people in my team are disappointed and worried that
the future team won't be as good and aren't keen on their new manager.

I couldn't help myself put use a bit of NLP embedded commands on them
in order to ruin the chances of the new management in that area.

After they spoke negatively about what they though might happen I said.

"Don't worry about what will happen" "Doesn't mean it will all be negative"
"Doesn't mean the team will fall apart" "Don't be concerned about the
fact none of you get on with him"

With "don't" and "doesn't" being filter out the sub conscious they
will have only heard.
"worry about what will happen" "mean it will all be negative"
"mean the team will fall apart" "be concerned about the fact none of
you get on with him"

The best description of how this works is that the sub conscious is a
3 year old. "Don't run across the road". This is exactly what they
will want to do.

I even "marked out" the words after the "don't" and"doesn't" by
lowering by voice slight and gesturing with my palms apart.

Does this mean I am evil? If I did with the positive intentions what
were they? I suppose in order to ruin the new team in order to show
what a good job I had done with them previously.

I am suppose to be blogging about state changes today. Have been able
to control my states very well this after using the SWISH pattern and
anchoring in the right behaviours. Next week going to move on to the
next set of exercise which are thinking patterns.

Thursday, 17 July 2008

more states and VAK

Found out yesterday I have been mapped into position in the company I
work in, that I am not happy about.

Initial reactions was obviously upset, but I didn't react badly to
anyone I felt the SWISH pattern kicked in and I was able to distance
myself long enough to think about calmly.

This gave me time to think and formulate a plan. I discovered once I
had this plan in place I felt much more relaxed about my future and
was able to disassociate myself from the process, allowing me to put
forward reasoned arguments about my mapping being incorrect.

Following the plan today to try and get it all sorted out. The SWISH
pattern and the anchoring bought me the time to think about it more
rationally. I have tried to remember the good feeling of waiting and
planning my response, instead of just reacting.

Tuesday, 15 July 2008


As part of my study of NLP I was looking for people using VAK this
week and trying to watch the change of states in people and myself.

Yesterday I was in a meeting with guy who had the habit of relaying
past events as a story by almost acting out the events to a certain
degree. It was a very Visual way of communicating the events to
another person. I found it a bit odd as I had never come across
someone do this before to such an extent. However, it did work I
understood everything he said and was very engaged in the process.

I think its something I could take away and use myself. I don't think
I would go as far as the guy I meet, but it is a useful technique.

States of mind

Noticed yesterday in a managers meeting that I was getting angry when
certain people spoke. It wasn't necessarily anything they said it was
just the sight of them made me angry, possibly because I feel they
don't deserve their position in the company.

I realised this was holding me back for contributing to the meeting
and affecting my emotional state. As this was something I wanted to
watch this week I made a note of it straight away. To combat the
problem I quickly applied a SWISH pattern to re-program my mind.

I Visualised myself red and angry at the sight of these people. I then
SWISHED in an image of myself calm and enlightened. I did a few time
in the meeting (without making a loud SWISH sound). I immediately
started to feel better and by the end of the meeting I was just
internally laughing at the comments they made instead of getting angry
about it instead.

Monday, 14 July 2008

New level

Written up the some NLP topics last week and cover the very basics of
what is NLP.

Moved on to the first levels of NLP Neuro.

To start with covering the VAK and State changes. As part of plan is
to write up the information and then conduct exercise on it all week
and blog an examples I come across.

So this week looking for examples of people using VAK and to notice
when my state changes or when other people state changes during the
week. Going to print out the exercises and keep them with my mission
statements to read every morning.

Wednesday, 9 July 2008

Performance Reviews

Had my performance review at work yesterday. Lots of good and some not
good points.

Firstly the good. Feedback from my team was great. Good leadership,
motivation, empowerment and good communications. Also was echoed by
some other teams I work closely with as well. This is greta and was
part of my career strategy to become so leadership skills and create a
great team. Plus a number of other teams we work with have also
comment on my coomunication skills and leadership through some tough
projects and work issues.

However, some bad feedback is I have on the odd occasion sent out
emails that have upset people and cast me in a bad light. This is a
difficult one as I have some times done this get a reaction, any
reaction as everyone is ignoring the issues or ignoring my requests.
However, the feedback has come from my Director that this isn't good
and has the tendency too wipe out all the good work I have done.

Part of me want to argue they were wrong, but due to my NLP studying I
realised their point of view is valid, as it is how the perceive the
issues and therefore so will others, which is how communications work.
I accepted the feed back and remembered the saying 'feedback is the
breakfast of champions'. So I have decided to resolve this tendency to
get upset and send out over emotional emails. I have added another
mission statement to my list and I am going to set myself some goals.
I have also tried to use NLP to re-program my mind not to react in
such a way. I usually know it is the wrong thing to do to send out
these emails. I imagine myself about to send out one of these emails
and the thought crosses my mind 'should I'. I tried to then associate
the trouble it causes me to the sending of the email and tried to
anchoring the words NO in bright white lights to appear in my mind. I
have also associated the the sense of relief once I realised it
shouldn't be send with deleting the email.

Tuesday, 8 July 2008

resources available

Listening to a podcast this morning by Dr William Horton. He discussed
that people make best decisions based on the resources available to
them at the time. It can be that they don't have all the available
resources they need to make the right decision. So they make the best
decision based on the resources, i.e. experience, facts and advice,
that is available to them at that specific point in time.

I can totally related to this based on a decision I have made at work.
With hindsight it probably wasnt the best decision, but at the time is
was the best option due to the limited resources I had available. I
had to choose a new between 3 options at work. The first option would
have limited our ability in future. The second option was overly
complicated and third option was a new technology that offered us
everything we needed. We wanted the third option, but were imposed a
number of constraints by the business that limited our ability to
implement this new technology in appropriate timescale. They wanted it
quickly and cheaply which meant we had to make short cuts and re-use
lots of equipment that meant the project took longer. In the end in it
took longer than if we had done it properly, as we have had go back
and re-do the short cuts any way, and do multiple rounds of testing.
The resource I lacked at the time were experience of large scale
projects and the attitude of the Senior managers. Next time I would
still pick the same technology, but would make it clear that it had to
be done in a certain way; no shortcuts, correct timescales and the
right tools available else they would need to choose something else. I
would have responded differently to the imposed limitation being
placed on the project that caused it be delayed in the long run. At
the time I was just happy to get the approval for the project and
agreed to anything to get the work underway.

Monday, 7 July 2008

Blogging and studying

One of mission statements is to re-read my NLP books and as part of
this to write articles for an introduction into NLP for a new web
site. This is suppose to work two fold

1) Studying NLP
2) Working on web site

As part of point 1) I decided to set up exercise as part of each
topic. So once read a chapter, written the article, I will then try
and act on that information the following week. I will note in my
daily journal to remind me to act on the information and to prove I
have I will blog the result each day as well. This will act as too
remind me and a way of looking back on the results.

I hope to start this next Monday. I have already made a note in my
daily journal.

Friday, 4 July 2008

Morning schedule

As discussed in my blog yesterday here is my morning schedule.

Morning Schedule

1) Read Mission statements
2) Blog NLP points from the day before or morning
3) Pre – plan each meeting that day. Points to make and flow of discussions
a. Intro's
b. Model of the World present
c. Summarise
4) Life task note for the day in the dairy and update from day before
5) Read Email
6) Work Tasks

Mission Statements

"Reach 14 stone by December 8th 2008. Do this by using the NLP
techniques learnt in the podcast. Eat clean and every 3-4 hours to
keep metabolism going. Follow exercise plan laid out in the dairy"

"Improve NLP knowledge and usage. Do this by Blog about NLP everyday.
Re-reading NLP book and make notes for a basic introduction to
NLP web site. Read all of book this time"

Thursday, 3 July 2008

Learning points

In a meeting today and asked for comments based on a document I had
sent to a vendor. it was suggested we give a quick overview first in
order to get the discussion started. I realised I hadn't really
prepared for the meeting or thought about what I was going to say.
Decided to take this as feedback and created two learning points.

1) prepare every morning for each meeting and decided what points I
need to get across. Make a few notes it refer to in the meeting.

2) Giving an overview ion the meeting was a good idea and relates back
the Sleight of Mouth patterns ,"Model of the World". I present the
model of the world as I believe it to be and this will either confirm
peoples beliefs or give them something counter argue against. Either
way it creates a discussion point and focus for the discussions.

So how to go about point number 1). I realised I need to do a number
of things each morning to start my day off correctly, so I have
decided to create a morning schedule.

I going off to write it now and then will post it on the blog.

Wednesday, 2 July 2008

Feedback not failure

One of the elements of the weight loss podcast is about setting your
self in an environment for success rather then failure. If for
example you have nothing but crisps, chocolate and sweets in the house
this what you will eat. If you have however in your cupboards fresh
fruit and vegetables then this is all you can eat.

Currently my wife is pregnant and she has the habit of buying lots of
sweets or recently making her own fudge. Normally this food wouldn't
be in our house and I don't feel like I can complain because I know it
is a temporary thing. I have given in to temptation and been eating
pieces of the fudge every night. As they say in the podcast "only
thing you can't resist is temptation". It does seem to have had a
knock on effect as now I have given into one thing I feel like I am
more likely to give into others as well. It appears I have lost my
momentum on weight slightly. I need to regain my momentum and find a
way to resist.

I decided to see this as not as "failure but as feedback". Got to have
to live with it so use it as an opportunity to use the NLP/mind
techniques to try and resist and reaffirm my goals of losing weight.

Tuesday, 1 July 2008


Watched the tennis last night on the tv. I don't normally but wanted to see how Andy Murray did. Been keeping on eye on during the vening had tea and came back to see him 2 sets down and 5-3 down in the third set with the other guy serving for the match. For everyone to see it looked like he was about to lose. Murray hadn't broken his sever all match so looked highly unlike to be able to do it now.

Guess what he did and brough it back 5-4, then won his own service game to level the set. It went to tie breaker and Murray won. He had the momentum now in the game and took the 4th set 2-6. Followed on straigh into the final set by breaking his serve again and won the final set 4-6. It was an amazing come back from the brink of defeat.

How does this relate to strategy and NLP. Well once he broke the other guys serve he knew it could be done, it gave he hope. The other got the jitters and lost momentum whilst Murray continaully gain momentum through the rest of the game. momentum is highly imporatant is strategy. The team  Murray broke the momentum of the other guy and claimed it for him self. The opponent at times tried to break the momentum by breaking Murray back but couldn't and finakl resorted to get the game stopped for bad light. Neither of these tactics worked and Murray finished him off.

I was thinking as it looked like he was going to lose that he should remeber their is no such thing as failure only feedback, Murray obviously was using that feedback straigth away and put into straight into use to swing the game in his favour. Think it also shows that to never give up.

Get fish-slapping on Messenger! Play Now

Monday, 30 June 2008

New beginnings

Been following a new weight loss ideas from a weight loss podcast based around NLP techniques. Lost 7 pounds in 5 weeks so far.

One of the points is to keep a journal of events so I am going to blog small slices of life on NLP each day.

Today I have started with keeping a personal to do list as well as a work to do list. I am planning out my exercise for the week and other task to progress myself. This is one of the ideas given in the podcast. One of the things on the list is to blog 5/7 days a week.

Tuesday, 8 January 2008


Scarcity is the final law of influence I am going to cover from the book by Robert Cialdini.

You all seen the shop fronts and adverts on the tv in the magazines stating limited offer. This is scarcity, it works on the principle of "act on or you will miss out". You get the sales men telling you at your front door he is only allow to sell x amount of these product at discount in anyone day and he isn't coming back this way for a few months. He will tell you he has already got orders for most of them and there is only a few left. "If you don't buy now you won't ever get it so cheap". They try and make out they are doing you the favour by give you such a discount offer. The truth be told they are always this price and the discount is always available to anyone at any time, lets face it they want to sell their product making out it is limited is purely to push up demand or trick people into making rushed decisions.

One of the other posts was about Consistency when I discuss the Christmas present trick many manufacturers use to force you into buying extra presents at Christmas and make a hyped up demand by limiting their stock for the Christmas period only. This is scarcity at work again, and as in the other example the product is not going disappear forever, unless it's total crap!!!

Will like the idea of having something other people may not have or we are concern we may miss out.

I was recently looking for a new car a the sales forecourt had up signs saying "10 day sale", this is an obvious scarcity trick. What you have to ask your self is which 10 days?

Near my house is anew building estate and they have a sign up saying "40% reserved", this works on scarcity and social proof. What they don't saying is 40% of what is reserved. Plus what does reserved actually mean. It could by 40% of the builders car park is reserved for plumbers. Reserved could mean they have just their name on a list, it does necessarily mean they have placed a deposit. It could they have resevred a viewing once built!!

Every time you go to buy a house the estate agent will tell they have other people interested and they are about to put in a offer. I was told such a story about a new house I was looking at, I decided I wasn't interested in the end. A year later the house was still on the market, what happen to those two to three other couples who were interested!!!!

Again think about what it the scarcity statement actually mean. Is there any evidence to prove their claims. Do you really need it that badly you are willing to be trick into a purchase. If they product is that good why resort to such tactics ion the first place.


Authority is the next of the 6 laws of influence I am going to cover. Again it works due to the social contract and experience we have gained as we become adults.

The book discusses that we are more likely to be influenced by a person in Authority than any one else. For an example you are more likely to do what a policeman ask you to do than a total stranger. What separates the two, a total stranger and a policeman? For most people the policeman is a total stranger to them, but the uniform gives them status as someone who can be trusted and someone whom you should listen to. We are taught by adults as we grow up to obey authority figures such as policeman, school teachers, doctors etc, as the know the right thing to do. It is part of the social contract that keeps society together. The total stranger has no uniform and thus carries no weight of authority that a uniform implies.

The knowledge that authority carries more influence is used by marketing and sales men. Often you will see the adverts on the tv when a "expert" will endorse the product. This expert appears to carry the right credentials, such as a Doctor. For example a new toothpaste is often recommend by well qualified Dentist that is associated to some government health agency. We believe them because it is an authority figure and we have been programmed to believe authority figures.

Proof of the influence of authority comes in the form of a famous experiment


So think about the times you have seen authority selling products on the tv or in magazines. Car safety experts, Doctors selling wonder diets, finance experts selling insurance etc etc.

The thing to ask yourself is, are they really experts? meaningless qualifications can be obtain from mickey mouse universities or colleges. Does the institute really exist that they belong to or is it again something they have created them selves to promote their own job or product.
What is their vested interest in you buying this product? does their opinion actually matter? They are being paid to sell this product to you?